I hope the residents of Miami brought their baby wipes to the beach this weekend because our favorite mooks from Jersey Shore hit the surf and sand, and we all know what happens when Snooki gets sand in her vag. Dance party! The group looked tanned up and skin cancer ready as the paps took pics of them galavanting around. Even that bitch Angelina was there, which makes no sense because no one liked her — not even the viewers. Seriously, why would MTV bring that idiot back? Hopefully she’ll get knocked unconscious by a falling coconut and be left for dead on South Beach. Meanwhile, J-WOWW is looking more like J-WRINKLES. Bitch is taking too much sun in her face. She’s gonna look like a cougar and a half in just two years. It’s called sunscreen, bitch! Continue reading
Looks like that big ol’ former-horse-face-turned-whore-Barbie Heidi Montag is in the tabloid headlines again. Thanks to undergoing about thirty-five surgeries in one hour, this dumb bitch needed herself some pain meds, and now rumors are swirling that Blondie McTitsalot is hooked on the drugs. If it’s true, it’s kind of sad. But I don’t know what makes it saddest of all: that the girl is addicted to drugs, or that she may have gotten addicted to drugs to get the media attention. She needs help, and not from that asshole husband of hers. He’s probably the one supplying her with the prescriptions. Isn’t that always the case? First Anna Nicole. Then Britney. Now this ditz.
If the rumors are true, I hope she gets into rehab! And in the meantime, let’s laugh at her stupid alien boobs some more.
I’m not even sure what to say about Octomom. Actually, I do. She looks like one of those sock monkeys that has gone wrong. Way wrong. Someone should stick a sock up her vag so she can stop reproducing. The good news is that she told Oprah that she doesn’t want to do a reality show, saying “a parent must provide for their kids, not the other way around.” Oh snap! Listen to that bitch sounding reasonable for a second. Too bad she probably was high on Gerber baby food smells. Tomorrow she’ll be hawking her brood around Hollywood again, no doubt.
Supermodel Bar Refaeli posed with Jersey Shore mooks Mike (“The Situation”), Vinny, Pauly D, and Ronnie for a recent spread in Interview. This clearly could not have been the high point of her career, and I hope for her sake that the production assistants wiped down that giant Italian sub with some Purell. On the flip side, this marks a major lifetime high for Vinny, the quiet cast member who can thank his lucky stars that he was even included in this photo shoot.
More pics after the jump. Continue reading
Cameras caught Jersey Shore pugilist J-WOWW training this weekend, and if looks are any indication, she appears to have enjoyed a few canolis since we last saw her on MTV. It’s okay though — a few curves never hurt anyone.
Speaking of which, a pic of J-WOWW with Snooki and Sammi Sweetheart (a.k.a the biggest bitch on the show) after the jump. Continue reading