Looks like a downed airplane wasn’t the only thing lost on that island. Add Matthew Fox’s hotness to the list too. Back in the day (a.k.a. six months ago), he rocked that hot stubble and fierce jawline. Now he looks like a rabbi gone bad from Brooklyn. That’s not anti-Semitic, yo. But seriously, when was the last time you saw a hot middle-aged rabbi? Totally open to the idea though.
Anyway, it’s time someone sent out a party of five to find Matthew Fox’s stylist because this look is not doing it for me.
Charo may be the single scariest woman alive. It’s like somebody decided to make a hand puppet from two cantaloupes, and quite frankly, that’s not an image I need. She frightens me in a deep and meaningful way; so I suppose it’s a bit strange that I love her too. And what’s not to love? She’s gotta be at least 160 years old, and she still pushes those fake ta-tas out like she were just a young twentysomething out on the street. Of course, when Charo was a young twentysomething, there was no such thing as fake boobs. Or electricity, for that matter. Has anyone thought about booking her on Celebrity Apprentice? I’d be down for that.
Would it kill Pamela Anderson to smile? Or is that the most her surgically enhanced face can pull off? I guess she still looks pretty good for her age, but damn, that sexy face is anything but. Makes me wanna strangle myself with one of those Baywatch buoy ropes. I think she’s officially bought the ticket to Cougar Town, and I feel bad for any cub that wanders into her den.
At least Billy Crystal is having a fun time, but I wouldn’t be shocked if he’d had some work done too. He has old man plastic face, which for the record is not a good look. Kind of makes him look like an Asian lesbian. You know, the type that sells pottery out of her garage in Santa Fe. Not to generalize or anything.
For a fortysomething bitch, Kelly Bensimon usually looks pretty hot, even if her boobs look like they want to run to opposite ends of the room. But these pics of her with Maria Menounos frolicking on the beach have me all sorts of scared. Her stomach looks like a deflated football. It’s not a good look at all. And let’s not talk about her veiny arms and legs. She looks like one of those centuries old bog people archeologists find in rural Holland. Makes sense since I always assumed she had a chronic case of swamp crotch. I’m literally scared of her now. She will haunt my dreams. On the plus side, if Freddy Krueger is looking for a hot date, I’ve got just the right match for him. They could totally talk about their leathery hides and scare everyone around them. Aw, romance!