For a fortysomething bitch, Kelly Bensimon usually looks pretty hot, even if her boobs look like they want to run to opposite ends of the room. But these pics of her with Maria Menounos frolicking on the beach have me all sorts of scared. Her stomach looks like a deflated football. It’s not a good look at all. And let’s not talk about her veiny arms and legs. She looks like one of those centuries old bog people archeologists find in rural Holland. Makes sense since I always assumed she had a chronic case of swamp crotch. I’m literally scared of her now. She will haunt my dreams. On the plus side, if Freddy Krueger is looking for a hot date, I’ve got just the right match for him. They could totally talk about their leathery hides and scare everyone around them. Aw, romance!