Sorry, I have no deep thoughts. I’m just testing out this new “aside” feature on the blog. How’s it look?
Looks like a downed airplane wasn’t the only thing lost on that island. Add Matthew Fox’s hotness to the list too. Back in the day (a.k.a. six months ago), he rocked that hot stubble and fierce jawline. Now he looks like a rabbi gone bad from Brooklyn. That’s not anti-Semitic, yo. But seriously, when was the last time you saw a hot middle-aged rabbi? Totally open to the idea though.
Anyway, it’s time someone sent out a party of five to find Matthew Fox’s stylist because this look is not doing it for me.
Elisha Cuthbert, a.k.a. the “sloppy seconds” of some NHL jackass, was spotted in a bikini over the weekend, and if I’m not mistaken, it looks like the 24 starlet has indeed spent the pasty twenty-four hours stuffing her face with poutine and moose meat and whatever else it is that Canadians eat. They eat moose, right? No? Whatevs. She’s def put on some pounds, and in Hollywood, that’s like the kiss of death. Sure, she might look hot if she were waddling her way through a mall in rural Pennsylvania, but this is La-La Land. We like our actresses skinny and big breasted. Oh wait. Then we’re stuck with Heidi Montag.
Never mind, Elisha. You keep doing what you’re doing. A few curves never hurt anyone (just don’t get all Jessica Simpson on us, mmkay? xoxo) Continue reading
I hope the residents of Miami brought their baby wipes to the beach this weekend because our favorite mooks from Jersey Shore hit the surf and sand, and we all know what happens when Snooki gets sand in her vag. Dance party! The group looked tanned up and skin cancer ready as the paps took pics of them galavanting around. Even that bitch Angelina was there, which makes no sense because no one liked her — not even the viewers. Seriously, why would MTV bring that idiot back? Hopefully she’ll get knocked unconscious by a falling coconut and be left for dead on South Beach. Meanwhile, J-WOWW is looking more like J-WRINKLES. Bitch is taking too much sun in her face. She’s gonna look like a cougar and a half in just two years. It’s called sunscreen, bitch! Continue reading
Looks like that big ol’ former-horse-face-turned-whore-Barbie Heidi Montag is in the tabloid headlines again. Thanks to undergoing about thirty-five surgeries in one hour, this dumb bitch needed herself some pain meds, and now rumors are swirling that Blondie McTitsalot is hooked on the drugs. If it’s true, it’s kind of sad. But I don’t know what makes it saddest of all: that the girl is addicted to drugs, or that she may have gotten addicted to drugs to get the media attention. She needs help, and not from that asshole husband of hers. He’s probably the one supplying her with the prescriptions. Isn’t that always the case? First Anna Nicole. Then Britney. Now this ditz.
If the rumors are true, I hope she gets into rehab! And in the meantime, let’s laugh at her stupid alien boobs some more.